Focus on the important things in your life

I received this in an email from my dear Dad. It’s very true for me. What about you?

The Mayonnaise Jar

When things in your life seem , almost too much to handle,
When 24 Hours in a day is not enough,
Remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class
And had some items in front of him.
When the class began, wordlessly,
He picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar
and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students, if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured
them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open Areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He asked once more if the jar was full.. The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes.’

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

‘Now,’ said the professor, as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.
The golf balls are the important things – family, children, health, Friends, and Favourite passions .
Things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, Your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house, and car.

The sand is everything else –The small stuff.

‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ He continued, ‘there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff,

You will never have room for the things that are important to you.

So…

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play With your children.
Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your partner out to dinner.

There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.

‘Take care of the golf balls first –
The things that really matter.
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.’

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled.
‘I’m glad you asked’.

It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem,
there’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.’

One of my favourite poems

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The Desiderata
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Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly, and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let not this blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams; it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, 1929.

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This poem is one I have always enjoyed as did my parents. I read it at my parents 60th wedding anniversary in April last year and it was one of the passages at my mum’s funeral earlier this year. So I felt inspired to share it with you.
Til next time
Love and light
Gail

I’m Just Too Busy. How Do I Find More Time?

 Question: I’m Just Too Busy. How Do I Find More Time? “I feel like I’m always rushing, always stressed, and still don’t have enough time for the things in life that are most important to me. This stresses me out a lot. What can I do?”

Answer: Many people find themselves too busy these days, which causes stress. The reasons vary from person to person, but the following are some main ones why people find themselves too busy, along with time management and stress management ideas to help:

1. It’s OK To Say No: Many people end up overscheduling themselves because they feel uncomfortable saying “no” when people ask things of them. This may be because they don’t want to admit to themselves that they can’t “do it all,” or perhaps because they don’t want to disappoint others. Unfortunately, they ultimately disappoint themselves by not having enough time to do what’s important to them.

Does this apply to you? If so, learning to say no might be a good time management priority.Use it to create space in your schedule for what’s important to you. More on the topic of saying NO on a later post.

2. Be Clear On Your Priorities: Some people become overscheduled because they add activities to their schedules for the wrong reasons, and end up spending their days doing things that don’t reflect their values and priorities. Then they find themselves struggling to fit in what’s important to them. Necessities like adequate sleep and other healthy habits fall by the wayside.

Is this you? To find out, make a list of what’s most important to you. List things like family, friends and career. Then look at how you spend your days. See how much time goes to these things. Is it a good match, or are you spending an inordinate amount of time doing things that aren’t as important to you? It’s never too late to make changes.

3. Map It Out: A common time management trap many people fall into is that they don’t know where their time goes, or they overestimate the amount of time they have available and underestimate the amount of time each activity takes to complete, and become overcommitted. How many times have you found yourself adding new activities to your schedule when you don’t really know how you’ll find the time to do them? If you remember several such instances, you may need to keep a careful schedule, writing down everything you do. Don’t agree to new activities until you’ve found a way to pencil them in, overestimating the amount of time you think it will take to complete them.

Til next time

Gail Kingston

The Top 7 Signs of Self-Sabotaging Behaviors

I love sharing articles from Dr. Robert Anthony, one of my favorite teachers and mentors. Hope you enjoy this article…and find yourself more empowered as a result of reading it. Take this article seriously and notice the changes that appear in your own life…

The Top 7 Signs of Self-Sabotaging Behaviors (and what to do about them)
By Dr. Robert Anthony

http://ManifestingSecrets.com/

Having trouble reaching all your goals? Are you going for what you want, but feeling like something is road-blocking the way? Are you finding yourself “not” doing some of the things you know you should be doing?

You may be a victim of sabotage—self-sabotage. How do you know, and what can you do about it? Read on and see.

1. Focusing on what is not working, not right or missing from your life.

Problem: Notice how often you speak about and think about what is not working, not right, or missing from your life. This only attracts more of the things you don’t want.

Action: Ask yourself a new question: “What’s going right?” or “What IS working?” Begin to notice all the things, no matter how small, that are working well. Keep an evidence journal and each day write down everything, I do mean everything, that is working and you will attract more of what is working!

2. Being stuck in fear:

Problem: Do you worry a lot about the future and what is going to happen or might happen? Are you thinking about your fears so much that you are paralyzed and take no action because of fear of what might occur?

Action: It is time to put your focus on the present. We can’t control or predict the future or other people’s behaviors. All we can control is our own, right here, right now.

Ask yourself the question “What is the worst thing that could happen?” Then, let go and know that rarely do the scenarios we create in our heads occur. Take a moment to put things into perspective by writing down the things you can not change, the things you want to change, and accept that the Universe, God, Spirit, whatever you call it will take of the rest. It always does!

3. Feeling you have no value.

Problem: Do you forget all your accomplishments and lack pride in who you are and what you have accomplished? If you obsess about the past or your lack of success or lack of achievement, then you’ll be stuck in noticing how much you lack as a person. If you often criticize yourself or can’t accept compliments, it’s a definite sign that you have fallen into this trap.

Action: You can choose to notice what you do that is good and the things you can be proud of, no matter how small they may seem. Each day keep a log of what you are grateful for about YOU. When you hear your mind chattering about what you haven’t done right or well, turn down the volume and turn up the volume to hear the voice that knows the TRUTH about who you are and how you add value to the world.

Acknowledge yourself for at least 5 things each and every day that you did well. Each day, compliment yourself on something you did that you feel good about. Notice your small successes and accept the compliments others give you.

4. Comparing yourself to others.

Problem: Do you constantly compare yourself to others and then feel badly when compared to them? Comparison doesn’t motivate us to do more or be better, instead it makes us feel we’ll never be good enough and we aren’t right now.

Action: Write out the 5 qualities you like best about yourself. Then write out what you value most in your life. When you go to a place of comparison, notice how similar you are with the other person vs. what is different. Begin to create a list of adjectives that describe you – at least 25 positive words about your greatness. Whenever you notice yourself in a comparison mode, think of some of the adjectives that describe YOU.

5. Self-Sabotage – getting what you want and then losing it.

Problem: Do you not believe that you deserve to have what you want? When you get what you want, why do you often lose it or mess it up? What is the true story underneath – maybe that you think aren’t good enough to have it?

Action: List all the things you have accomplished that faded away. Simply notice these things, but don’t place any judgment on the fact they disappeared. How did they bring you satisfaction? How did they make you feel? What is the limiting belief that you have that tells you inside why you can’t have what you want? Be quiet, be still and listen to it.

Write down how you felt when you had what you wanted. Write down how you feel now, without it. Then write a “bridge belief”: A very, very small belief that feels a little bit better than what you now feel. Each week, create a new bridge belief, not matter how small, that you can really believe. By using these bridges as stepping-stones, you’ll shift your limiting beliefs slowly and be on the other side of the bridge and able to maintain it because you will have a new belief inside of you.

6. You chase away relationships.

Problem: Do you always feel something is missing in your relationships or find fault with the other person? Perhaps you are afraid of intimacy. Underneath this is usually a fear of abandonment or exposure that causes you to distance yourself from others.

Action: Create a list of the qualities you value in a relationship and the qualities you want to attract in your partners. Express what you want and don’t want to the other person and allow them to express the same to you. Create time to acknowledge the other person on a regular basis. Notice when you feel afraid. Don’t try to push the feelings away. Know that the feelings are there and that is fine. Then, in that moment, focus on what feels good about the relationship.

7. Having no purpose.

Problem: Do you feel you have no purpose in life? We all have some purpose for being on the planet and it is time to notice yours.

Action: Write down all the things that are important to you – the thing you want to create in your life. Then write out what you want to contribute to the world. From your writing, create a statement of purpose for yourself that you can read each and every day.

Then stop worrying about not knowing your purpose and start creating what you desire now. It doesn’t matter what you want in the future. So start creating something you want in your life NOW. This action will ultimately put you in alignment and bring you closer to your overall purpose.

By Dr. Robert Anthony

Want to discover more? Dr. Anthony offers a great complimentary 6 day e-course, The Million Dollar Secret, here:

http://www.ManifestingSecrets.com/

Or if you’d like a complimentary 45 min coaching consultation via phone or skpe, to see how YOU can stop YOUR  patterrn of self-sabotage, email me at gail@theclaritycentre.com

Blessings til next time

Gail

How to Fight Stress With Healthy Eating

Whenever we get too busy or stressed, we all tend to make poor food choices that will actually increase stress and cause other problems. I know this only too well myself and see it quite regularly im my clients.

To get the most of your healthy eating and avoid or at least lower stress levels, follow these simple tips.

Always eat breakfast
Even though you may think you aren’t hungry, you need to eat something.  Skipping breakfast makes it harder to maintain the proper blood and sugar levels during the day, so you should always eat something. Try some fruit, nuts or yoghurt!

Carry a snack
Keeping some protein rich snacks in your car,  office, or handbag will help you avoid blood sugar level dips, the accompanying mood swings, and the fatigue.  Trail mix, low sugar muesli or granola bars, and nuts or similar all have the nutrients you need.

Healthy munchies
If you like to munch when you’re stressed out, you can replace chips or other non healthy foods with carrot sticks, celery sticks, or even sunflower  seeds, pepitas or nuts.

Bring your lunch
Although a lot of people prefer to eat fast food for lunch, you can save a lot of money and actually eat healthier if you take a few minutes and pack a lunch at home.  Even if you only do this a few times a week, you’ll see a much better improvement to your health and purse over eating out.

Eat less processed foods

Keep the quantity of processed foods particularly highly refined sugary and fatty foods to a minimum. This will also help you avoid blood sugar level dips, the accompanying mood swings, and the fatigue and might help you shrink the waistline if you need to.

Stock your home
As important as it is to get the bad or less healthy food out of your house, it’s even more important to get the good
food in!  The best way to do this is to plan a menu of healthy meals at snacks at the beginning of the week, list the ingedients you need, then go shop for it.  This way, you’ll know what you want when you need it and you won’t have to stress over what to eat. Preparing extra meals and having some spares in the freezer is a good way to cope with the times when do don’t have the time or energy to prepare an evening meal from scratch.

Hope you find these tips helpful.

Blessings till next time

Gail Kingston

What is your deepest fear?

One of my favourite inspirational poems is one by Marianne Williamson – Our Deepest Fear is that We Are Powerful Beyond Measure

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

If you’d like to watch someone speaking the words, try this youtube link.

 I’ve been reminded of this poem in the last few days when I finally got around to starting to read Chrisopher Howard’s book. Instant Wealth – Wake up rich – Discover the secrets of the new entrepreneurial mind.

In the book he asks questions such as:

•  Has fear led you to have a comfortable life?
• Do you play it safe by not pursuing your dreams ?
• Do you play it safe by staying in a job that’s going nowhere fast or you really dislike?

So my question to you is what is your deepest fear?

Why not take the time to sit quietly and see if you get an answer? Or keep asking yourself the question over the space of a few days.

When you get an answer explore if this is something that serves you or is ever likely to really happen?

Perhaps it time to take a chance, stop playing small, embrace your power and to go for your dreams in some way, big or small…

It’s time to let your light shine!

Til next time

Blessings Gail

Accepting responsibility for your life?

An important aspect of success working with clients and helping them achieve the changes they want in life is to have them accept responsibility for their life and stop any victim mentality or blaming of circumstances, others, the economy etc.. 

I came across this youtube video from Michael Losier who is one of the experts in the law of attraction.

He puts a slightly different spin on responsiblity – in terms of  your ability to respond to things that happen in life whether they be ‘negative’ or ‘positive’. If you keep focussing/complaining about what you don’t want then you attract more of that kind of thing.

So celebrate what is working in your life – improve your ability to respond to the good things in life.

Would love to hear your thoughts on this topic

Blessings Gail

Do you rise up or give up?

It has been a history making 36 hours in Australia with our first female prime minister, Julia Gillard,  being installed yesterday and Kevin Rudd going from being our most popular prime minister a few months ago to .. now ex PM in one day without an election being held. Kevin couldn’t even run away and hide, he had to sit in parliament yesterday on the benches as an ordinary politician rather than as head of the party and Australian PM.

What do you do when the going gets tough and you fail?

I found this you tube video which reminds us that failure and risk are part of every life and often needed to ‘make it big’ and be successful, whatever that is for you.

Til next time

Blessings Gail

Exploring the Source of Happiness

Every single person on this planet is striving to be happy. This is the state of being that we all know from the time of our birth. It is a state of being that we recognize as our true self – who we deeply are.

This is something Michael Domeyko Rowland covers in his book “Absolute Happiness” (1990’s) and in his recent movie “Being in Heaven” both of which I highly recommend. There are many other authors and spiritual practices that also endorse this principle.

Now, for most of us, this happiness doesn’t last. It gets replaced by a striving force to survive, which feels more like the opposite of being happy. The reason we are doing this is astonishingly simple – because we are told to do so.

• Our heritage tells us what to think and feel
• Our government tells us what to think and feel
• Our society tells us what to think and feel

Our predominant current western world view is determined by a centuries old paradigm – Newton’s world view of the universe as a giant clock works is studied, as it has been for centuries, in our schools. This world-view teaches us that we humans operate similarly to a mechanical clock. This view teaches that everything is ruled by cause and effect, and almost everything can be replaced when it’s damaged.

In addition, we are taught the concept of the survival of the fittest although this is changing to some extent. Together, these two ideas condition us to accept that people, like animals, must function in a state of mechanical perfection or be replaced by more perfectly functioning components in the system. These old concepts have led to a society as a whole that is completely self-centered, ego-driven, irresponsible and environmentally destructive as the current oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico reminds us. They have led us to a cult of happiness seekers who get their adrenalin rush by buying more useless stuff on a daily basis – all in a subconscious attempt to maintain the illusion of perfection.

In the western world, many of us have been conditioned to consume the world in an effort to attain this illusory perfection, and it shows in our day-to-day lives. Simply put, we work at places we don’t like in order to buy stuff we don’t need. Now I know this doesn’t apply to some people who are aiming to live more simply and/or who follow and live their passion.

For many of us, we have forgotten that the source of happiness lies within the center of our spiritual being, and we have replaced it by seeking it in the material world. Perhaps we have things backward.

Why not look for happiness within. Try meditation, listening to music, or being in nature to help get more in touch with who you are to feel more peace and happiness.

 Love and blessings

Gail Kingston

Adapted from work by Thomas Herold -Co-Founder & CEO, Dream Manifesto

Believe in yourself and Remember that Anything is possible

I found this poem on a Paper bookmark and thought I’d share it with you, as I know that sometimes we as women struggle to consistently believe in ourselves. This may be particularly so, at times when we might be facing some challenges, poor health or things aren’t going so well.

Believe in what makes you feel good and what makes you happy.
Believe in the dreams you’ve always wanted to come true, and give them every chance to.
If you are willing to take the opportunities you are given and utilise the abilities you have,
you will constantly fill your life with special moments, and unforgettable times.
No one knows the mysteries of life or it’s ultimate meaning,
but for those who are willing to believe in their dreams and in themselves,
Life is a precious gift in which anything is possible.

Dena DiIaconi

So here are some questions for you to answer!

What will you do today to believe in yourself more fully?

What will you do today to take a step towards your dream no matter how small or how large?

What will you do today and each and every day to make yourself feel better?

What opportunity do you now choose to take to move towards your dream/s?
If you’d like some assistance to believe in yourself more, contact me for a complimentary 45 min coaching consultation – gail@theclaritycentre.com

Would love to hear your comments on this post and some answers to the questions.

Til next time

Gail Kingston